TERRIER ABOUT TOWN

It's a dog's life...

2011-08-11T11:51:00.000-07:00

I'd like you all to meet Chester.

Now, before you all start agreeing that he is the UK's most spoilt dog, please read this article.

This little chap is 13 (that's waaaay older in human years than you two-legged bloggers can imagine) and he only has three legs!

So, three cheers for Chester and his owner who appreciates - just like mine does - that cashmere throws and posh pillows are the best possible places for our furry posteriors to perch.

Once bitten...

2011-07-19T11:05:00.000-07:00

DD had to take a trip to the doctor this afternoon for a tetanus jag and is now mooching around showing the teeny, tiny mark to anyone who cares to look.

Last week, he had the nerve to refuse me entry to their bedroom and the pristine clean, white Egyptian cotton bed linen that was just begging for me to rub my dinnery beard all over - so I bit him.

A damn fine bite it was too! Straight through his thumb! And, if it hadn't been for the fact that he bled all over my glossy, golden coat and then planted his foot on my bottom, I'd have been truly delighted with my efforts.

Over the weekend, he started getting stiff shoulders and muscle spasms but thankfully I've had no such problems. It was only afterwards that I started to wonder if his hands had been clean - you never know where these humans have been.

Anyway, the doctor said it could have been much worse - it could have been MM doing the biting and then he'd have needed a rabies shot.

Canine Cuisine

2010-11-19T02:18:00.000-08:00

I don't think I'm spoiled. I just deserve the best, that's all.

No dog worth his wag will eat the same thing - day in, day out - without making a fuss.

Which is why my breakfast this morning consisted of chicken and vegetables in a Ginseng broth.

MM stated that she is 42 years old and has never had anything in a Ginseng broth.

I offered her a nibble of mine to rid her of her petted lip, but she declined. Her loss...

(Actually, it doesn't taste that great, but there is no way I'm letting on.)

Devil Dog

2010-11-06T15:05:00.000-07:00

I draw the line at certain things and having MM and DD dress me up like one of Paris Hilton's pooches in the name of Halloween is one of them.

But even the threat of losing a finger didn't stop them doing this to me...

The Joy of Socks

2010-06-16T13:22:00.000-07:00

The humble sock - not a terribly exciting item at first glance but the possibilities for a pooch are many...1/ a stinky, worn sock stolen from the laundry basket can be an ideal gift for any visitor - especially if it's some-one MM and DD are trying to impress.

2/ as a plaything it can be dragged along the carpet, thrown in the air a few times, shredded and then left to drown in the water bowl.

3/ as a puzzle for MM - stolen from the clothes horse this can result in hours of fun as she wonders why she has so many odd socks and then blames it on the washing machine.

4/ for your own amusement remember to always take one from the pair they are about to put on, refuse to give it back until they are running late for work, then relent and watch them squirm as they put on a warm, damp sock and hop out the door.

Oh yes, the joy of socks...

Lazy Bones - Sleepin' In The Sun

2010-06-03T12:38:00.000-07:00

What better way to spend a sunny day when you have the place all to yourself?

If I wasn't basking in the rays in my basket...

I was soaking up the sun on the satin sheets...

Ah, such doggy delights!

Sock Shame

2010-05-23T02:19:00.000-07:00

I can't help thinking that I've missed the joke here...

MM had her leaving drinkies on Thursday night and these socks were a present from some crazy people at The Sun - they gave her a bottle of Prosecco too, but I notice she didn't share that with me!

As usual, DD just did as he was told, but I refused to look at the camera and poked my tongue out.

MM said I'd obviously picked that up from Kerry Katona - and she had something to do with kittens apparently - so it's probably not a thing dogs are supposed to do.

Farewell Fifi

2010-05-09T08:41:00.000-07:00

My fuzzy little heart is broken…

I found out last night that my one great love - Fifi (aka Fifi L'Amour) - has passed away.

DD and I bumped into her Mutty Mummy when we were out on our late night stroll and after hearing the news, I walked the whole way home with my head and tail down.

DD and MM felt so sorry for me that they let me sleep with them last night.

Today, I'll just spend some time in my basket. Alone; with just my memories and a very heavy heart.

Helpful Hound

2010-05-01T12:06:00.001-07:00

MM had been writing on her blog about a pair of shoes that she was feeling guilty about buying.

She'd been dithering about taking them back and had tucked the receipt inside the shoe.

Deep down I think she really wanted to keep them, so I decided to help her out.

P.S. - I waited until DD had hoovered before I indulged in some shredding

Canine Clips

2010-04-10T15:10:00.000-07:00

I’ve been growing my hair all winter and was just getting to that surfer dude look that the ladies love when MM & DD bumped into a woman with a Lakeland.

Unlike me, he had been subjected to a serious haircut and, as a fellow breed, he did his best to warn me away by barking and jumping around.

It was no use though - our MMs still managed to get close enough to talk ‘grooming’.

I am now sporting the 'convict crop' and my ears (and other extremities) are freezing!

Okay - so I admit there are worse cuts than mine

Victorious Visla

2010-03-16T03:42:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd take this opportunity to congratulate Yogi the Hungarian Visla on his Crufts victory.

Bet that trophy's full of Bonio

Obviously, if I'd been there myself he'd have had a pretty stiff competition, but you have to support a fellow ginger-coated canine.

And what better way for him to celebrate his win than by retiring and putting his paws up for a well deserved rest.

Carpet Capers!

2010-02-13T12:35:00.000-08:00

Excellent - they have finally given me something to get excited about.

New carpets! No more running into the hall to attack the mail, only to find that fluffy paws can’t brake on laminate flooring and that the front door is not a gentle buffer.

Now everywhere is soft and fluffy, perfect under paw and excellent for leaving big deposits of loose fur.

It’s especially helpful that the carpets are almost black and I’m blonde, so I can see exactly where I’ve been, and where I left that munched up old chew stick and broken bit of Bonio.

Gorgeous Again!

2010-02-03T12:46:00.001-08:00

Having revealed to you my 'spot of bother', I felt too ashamed to put paw to keyboard until it cleared up.

Now I'm pleased to say that my posterior is perfect again and I'm back in action!

Pooch with a Pimple

2010-01-19T02:46:00.000-08:00

I have a spot on my bottom!

My fur's fairly long, so I’ve been covering it up, but MM & DD noticed it during my regular puppy massage (yes, I know it’s pathetic, but I love a massage – just don’t tell them that I actually enjoy something they do).

First of all, they chased me round the flat with a tube of Germoline. I put up with that for two days and then started diving under the couch whenever they unscrewed the lid. That give them the hint pretty quick, but I wasn’t prepared for last night…

MM caught me off guard and whacked a big dollop of face pack on my pimply problem. I got the last laugh though when DD said he’d paid over £60 for the mud mask as a present to MM and about £20 of that was dripping off my fur onto the floor.

I'm just one step away from this!

Hound In A Huff!

2010-01-14T08:19:00.000-08:00

I am not a happy hound!

Huffing - Hobbs style

Want to know why? I'll tell you why!

Those two had the nerve to call me a 'Wagamuffin' today. Just because I need a trim and happen to have been snowed on and then sprayed with slush by very passing vehicle for the past few weeks.

They think they're so perfect - well, they forget that I see what they look like in the morning and believe me, if there's anything that will put you off your morning bowl of kibble, it's them in their pyjamas and bed head hair!

Cold Canine

2010-01-10T13:29:00.000-08:00

Okay, I take back all the bad things I’ve said about my new coat.

Why? Because it’s bloody freezing here in Scotland!!

My tender toes and jellybutton nose are numb within about three seconds of setting paw out the front door.

Even though I’m still pretending I hate putting the coat on, I’m secretly loving how toasty warm it keeps me when I’m out and about, picking up and dropping off my pee-mail.

Now I just have to sort out the nipping pads I get from walking on the salty gritted pavements.

Looks like I spoke too soon - here comes MM with the Paw Wax!

Ba(rk)h Humbug!

2010-01-04T04:07:00.000-08:00

It's taken me over a week to recover from the disappointment of Christmas Day.

Did I find Fifi, warm and snuggly, in my basket? N0!

Did I get a convertible sports car with heated seats? No!

Did I get a waterproof jacket and (horror or horrors) a matching harness? Yes, I bloody did!

Okay, so I also got some damn fine canine confectionery, including a pack of rather impressive cigars, but it's not enough to stop me making my mark on that jacket!

A prickly like this should do the job...

Ho Ho Ho from Hobbs

2009-12-24T15:44:00.000-08:00

A barking good Christmas to all my four (and two) legged friends!

I refused to wear a Santa hat, but here's a picture of some poor pooch who did....

Snuffling in the Snow

2009-12-23T03:53:00.001-08:00

I've been out all morning making yellow snow.

MM and DD insisted I wear my Buff to keep my neck warm.

It wasn't my neck I was worried about getting chilled - my fuzzy little plums were freezing when I was posing for these pictures!

Santa Paws Is Coming

2009-12-19T10:10:00.000-08:00

MM and DD asked me to think about what I would like Santa Paws to bring me for Christmas this year.

I know that Santa Paws isn’t real, but for their sake I go along with it, so here’s my list...

1. To wake up and find I’m sharing my basket with Fifi, the hot Westie who lives across the road.

2. A convertible sports car, so I can sit in the front seat and feel the wind in my fur without having to stand on the door handle to stick my head out the window.

That’s it. That’s all I ask for - two things.

Of course, with my luck and owners I’ll probably end up with yet another embarrassing jacket that I’ll have to ‘accidentally’ rip to shreds on a bramble bush....

Tired Terrier!

2009-12-14T13:35:00.000-08:00

I’m a very tired terrier.

Every morning for the past week MM has dragged me out of my basket at quarter to six for a half hour walk in the freezing cold before she goes to that ‘Work’ place that she never seems to be away from.

I don’t know what kind of kicks she gets from these early morning outings, but it isn’t doing my mood any good.

Then DD hangs around the house all day and keeps me awake, when all I want to do is sneak into their bedroom and make myself comfy on their quilt.

Have they never heard the expression 'Let Sleeping Dogs Lie'?!

Downward Dog

2009-12-06T16:12:00.000-08:00

I consider myself to be a competent canine when it comes to yoga - well, mainly just the downward dog move…

Anyway, MM showed me this calendar the other day.

She tells me they’ve been photo-shopped.
I have no idea what that is, but it looks pretty painful.

Paws & Pedals Don't Go

2009-11-28T03:48:00.000-08:00

I don't normally see the point in putting up colour pictures on my dog blog, because I only see them in black and white, but DD tells me this one is definitely better viewed in colour.

Oh the humiliation!

I'm cringing already, but felt I had to show it so you know what MM does to me in the name of entertainment. I only agreed not to bite her because she convinced me it would cheer DD up while he can't ride his new bike himself.

At least she didn't force to me to wear those embarrassing lycra shorts that he's so fond of….

Doleful Dog

2009-11-22T14:07:00.000-08:00

Today I'd like to share with you one of my heroes.

My Hero working his magic

His name is Mr Newman and he lives in San Francisco - he's also been dubbed the 'World's Saddest Dog'.

So, why is he such a hero to me?

Well, a pooch pal of mine has a cousin who knows old Newmie and tells me that deep down he's really a happy, little chap. He just practises that face for when his humans leave him alone and it gets him all the love and attention he needs.

That's one seriously clever canine.

Chews to Choose - No.1

2009-11-13T10:20:00.000-08:00

There are few things in life more satisfying that a good nibble at my Aunt Susie's hair and it's a passion I've been indulging in since I was a pup.

Generally, I like to wait until she's relaxing on the sofa before I launch my attack; as you can see from this picture.

It may look as though she's fighting me off, but actually she thoroughly enjoys the whole thing.

Caring Canine

2009-11-09T08:41:00.000-08:00

Here I am alert and ready for action as I look after DD while he's poorly.

You can see his pyjamas in the corner of the picture - as usual he's taking up more than his fair share of sofa.

I'm actually only pretending to be sleeping to avoid having to give him mouth-to-mouth or some other revolting, human medical manoeuvre.

Sausage Sorrow

2009-10-31T10:28:00.000-07:00

After lying in my basket all night thinking about going to Clive Ramsay to get a sausage for my lunch, I got so carried away at the V.E.T imagining its fine flavours, that I forgot to wince when I got my booster!!

Before I could say ‘Organic Pork’ we were back in the car and heading home; the smell of that succulent sausage getting fainter and fainter as we went further down the motorway.

In comparison the chew stick I got instead was just one step up from something stolen from the bin! Not that I’d ever lower myself to stealing from the bin, of course...

Not the Vet!

2009-10-30T04:33:00.000-07:00

DD is back home and the whole hospital mystery has become clear – it was the way he smelled of the vet that gave it away. I hope for his sake they didn’t take his temperature the way they take mine!

I’ve got my booster on Saturday, so am already practising a slight whimper for when the needle goes in. If I do it well enough MM feels so sorry for me that she takes me for lunch.

She also has to take the dreaded V.E.T (I hate saying the whole word) a sample of my puppy piddle, so we should have some fun with this one!

Last year, I spend about half an hour dodging them - and their plastic bowl - before giving in because I was starting to feel bad about the way the neighbours were laughing at them.

Wet & Woeful

2009-10-24T15:30:00.000-07:00

Being dragged out in gale force winds and driving rain is doing nothing for me and my reputation in the area as the canine Brad Pitt.

It also doesn't help when MM insists I wear this jacket...

But then, you should see the one she wears. And she calls herself stylish?!

Feline Friends

2009-10-21T15:03:00.000-07:00

I know I call this my Dog Blog, but I’m more than happy to have followers of any kind - two or four legged.

I mention this, because I already have a couple of kitties on board and unlike a lot of the canines I know, I’m fond of my feline friends.

No-one can carry off ‘aloof’ like a cat can and you have to admit that their attention to detail when it comes to cleanliness is pretty impressive.

To demonstrate, here is a picture of my puss pal, Ginger, incorporating yoga and a morning wash on the sunroof of our neighbour’s car.

Now, I’m no stranger to yoga myself and can manoeuvre a pretty magnificent ‘downward dog’ - for maximum attention and a guaranteed tummy rub, this is best accompanied by a loud, long yawn.

But just take a look at Ginger!

You’d have to go to the Kirov Ballet to see a better leg extension than that.

Bothered & Bewildered

2009-10-17T13:23:00.000-07:00

Usually I’m quite a clever canine, but a conversation with DD has got me confused.

Most days, MM & DD leave me for a few hours and go to Work. They’ve done this for years and although they take me almost everywhere with them, they don’t take me there.

Why not? Is it too far away? Would I have to go on the train (I hate the train)? If it’s so nice that they feel the need to go there all the time, why don’t we just live there?

Today, DD throws another location at me that I’ve never been to. Hospital...

Apparently, he’s going there on Monday for a while and I can’t go with him. Last year, MM went there for over two weeks and didn’t even come back with a tan! Actually, she looked awful when she got back and didn’t seem to have enjoyed herself at all, so I really can’t understand why DD would want to go.

Is this the start of separate holidays each year? And if so, can I get to go to The Barking Bedgebury when it’s my turn?

Top Tip For Autumn

2009-10-12T09:06:00.000-07:00

I love this time of year.

The sun is low and bright, bringing out the best tones in my fur and it’s cool enough to enjoy long, leisurely strolls without getting sweaty paws.

But best of all, there are fallen leaves everywhere.

Little clumps of them are just perfect for picking up and dropping off your pee-mail and if you’re lucky enough to come across a load of them in a big pile, dive in and snuffle under them for a while. Bliss!

Be warned though... Only dive in if they are dry!

Wet, sticky and stinky leaves are like yellow snow - best avoided!

My Very Own Dog Blog!

2009-10-08T15:31:00.000-07:00

I live with two people who see no shame in calling themselves Mutty Mummy and Doggy Daddy...

Add to this the fact that they make up songs about me, then force me to sit listening to them while they wail tunelessly and it’s enough to make a dog barf up his Bonio. It also highlights their complete lack of consideration when it comes to the sensitivity of my much heightened hearing.

But they love me (deep down in my little doggy heart, I love them too) and have decided that at the grand old age of seven, I’m mature enough to have my very own Dog Blog - to not only air my furry frustrations, but also to record my dreams, my disappointments, my dinners and my days out.

Well, I will start recording them just as soon as I master this keyboard / computer stuff; paws and technology are a tricky combination.

If I'm honest, I’d never have agreed to this if I’d known the ‘mouse’ was a fur-less, clicky thing that sits on a plastic mat. What’s the point if you can’t chase it and then hide it in your basket for a midnight snack?